Updated: Nov 16, 2021
“I feel like I’ve tried everything.” You’ve probably said this or thought this when trying to kick a habit or an addiction. I often hear this in a client's first session.
When you say, "I've tried everything," (and still struggling) you tend to feel helpless to quit an addiction. You might hear someone mention going 90 days without it; and then after 124 days, you did it again. It feels like you are "back to square one."
What are some things in those 124 days of sobriety that began to change for you? It might be that your cravings began to change. Did they feel high at times? Sure. But all the time? Not necessarily.
What are some things in those 124 days of sobriety that did not change? "Most days I feared that I would do it again." This is something that did not change. Notice you are not going "back to square one", when you recognize that you have been struggling with fear most of the time. It's helpful to recognize these things and then put them together:
Your cravings began to lessen and fear stayed the same.
Back to the original comment, "I feel like I've tried everything." More than likely this person has tried a great deal of tips, tricks, and techniques that have been helpful...and fear has stayed the same. Learning to struggle well is learning to be aware of areas of your life that can change, in this situation, fear.